Another day, another class skipped so I could pet the kitten and read in the park instead.
I’m pretty much through with substance abuse and male attention for the week.
sext: i want to pay bills and share household duties and approach our late 20’s in a financially and emotionally stable way with you
I had more complicated thoughts on the matter, but XXXX blowing me off made it somewhat simpler. I thought I could (perhaps stupidly) count on him being around and maybe I could if I talked with him, though I don’t feel like it and it’s not worth the effort. The way things ebb and flow so easily is somewhat frightening. As if I get carried away too easily and remain too grounded at the same time. I only have a few more weeks before vacation; I pray that will clear my head.
I’ve also been ignoring X today/this afternoon. I had my class dinner tonight. It was fairly dull, minus the part where I encountered/avoided JXXX.
I would and have blown off everyone in my life to spend time playing fetch with the cat. To be honest, everyone else sucks and is unreliable. The cat is playing in my $600 office purse right now as I type this and I could careeee less. The purse is yours, Millie.
This is definitely the worst picture of my cat ever taken… and it’s probably the worst picture of any cat ever taken.
Easter weekend was a doozy, but now I’m back in bed with the kitten and all is right with the world.
Feigned an interest in modern art today
It’s perfect out- sunny, breezy, not a cloud in the sky. I can physically feel the chemical imbalance in my brain righting itself.
I graduate law school one month from today
Work never ends
This morning, when I met with S for my biweekly counseling session, I told him I felt guilty because I had nothing specific to talk about and no measurable progress to report. He said that I wasn’t wasting his time in the slightest and perhaps I should think of my progress as non-linear. Perhaps externalizing my feelings is progress. That I was in an in-between place and sometimes all you can do is recognize your location there. S always knows what to say!
As always, S gave me a lot of good insight and things to reflect on. The session later devolved into my debating which guys in my life were most attractive, which were the best sexual partners, which were most interesting. I warned him that I was a very superficial person and it was incredibly difficult for me to see past these things. He laughed and the debate continued.
Honestly, these sessions are a gross misappropriation of University funding, but I don’t care. I like S and I’m going to get my money’s worth before graduating next month.